Sex Education

Sex education, as "taught" in our pubic schools, is sorely, dangerously lacking in both factual and moral content.

Our children are being told that it's better not to have sex. And then, after that sentence is spoken, they are told over the course of weeks how to have sex -- just in case they don't remember that little piece of advice, half-heartedly given at the beginning of a class that is probably being taught by a burly gym coach who hits on anything in a skirt.

No wonder our teenagers are so thoroughly screwed up.

It's probably better for sex education to take place in the home, but if it has to be part of school, then at least children should know that there is more than one side to the story. For example:

• Many disapproving pharmacists poke holes in condoms with a pin before selling them so that they will not work.
• It is widely known that you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex, you can get pregnant by swimming in a public pool, you can't get pregnant if you keep your underpants on and one foot on the floor, and bottles of soda can be used as an after-the-fact contraception. The kids know this, so why (supposedly) don't their teachers?
• Nobody tells girls anymore that whenever a doctor test them for pregnancy and it comes out positive, a rabbit dies. Don't you think less girls would get pregnant if they knew they were killing bunnies?
• Supposedly both a man and a woman are necessary for conception, but there is at least one historically documented case of a woman becoming pregnant without a man, and another of a woman coming into the world with only a man as her progenitor.
• Fruit touched by a girl having her period will go bad.
• The rhythm method (used in the context of marriage) works just fine, particularly in large families.
• There are plenty of excellent commercial alternatives to dirty, dirty breast milk.
• If young men showed more restraint, fewer of them would need glasses.
• AIDS is God's way of punishing certain sinful groups of individuals (e.g., homosexuals, drug users, transfusion recipients, Africa).
• Richard Gere is a disgusting pervert.

Adding to the problem is the fact that schools undermine the authority of parents by often contradicting what children are told at home. Schools should not contradict stories of storks and cabbage patches any more than they should proclaim that Santa Claus is not real. This is a violation of the right to freedom of religion! Truly, such a state of affairs must be condomed.